Here is what you need for a great day of fishing.  The picture is proof that this is no fish story.
<P>
 <B>Ingredients and directions:</B>
<P>
 <B>First, combine the following items:</B>
<UL>
<LI> 2 Fat Fishermen with a combined weight of 545 lbs.
 <LI> 1 Harborcraft fishing boat , 16'-2 1/2" long with a 50 horsepower
 Mercury outboard
 <LI> 1 Fast Moving Sacramento River (At Colusa)
 <LI>1 Case of Miller Genuine Draft beer
 <LI> 2 Bags of fried pork rinds
 <LI> 1 Box of Fried Chicken.
 <LI> 1 Handmade "Floyd Rhodes" salmon fishing lure (Personally Guaranteed
 by Floyd to catch fish)
</UL>
<P>
<B> Add the following:</B>
<UL>
<LI>1 each 53lb., 46 3/4" long",  sex strarved and angry King Salmon.
</UL>
<P>
 <B>Immediately following the addition of the salmon to the original
 ingredients, combine the following:</B>
<UL>
<LI> 1 Hour of constant battle in the 90 degree hot sun.
 <LI> 1 Failed attempt at gaffing the Salmon ----- resulting in a near
 overboard by one fisherman,----  the loss of a gaff that was handmade and
 handed down by the fisherman's father ------ and now, one incredibly
 pissed-off King Salmon  with a rather significant puncture wound in his
 belly.
<LI>1 Gallon of sweat from each of the fisherman.
<LI>1 Fishing net that is was a little to small for the fish and fairly
 worn out from 20 years of fishing.
<LI>8 Failed attempts at netting the fish ----- only to have the fish
 peel off 60 yards of fishing line after each attempt.
<LI>1 1/4 mile of drift down the Sacramento River from where we first
 hooked the fish.
<LI>1 Final and successful netting, just prior to running into the
 anchor lines of 6 boats that were fishing the next hole in the river.
<LI>1 Fishing lure that held fast in the Salmon's mouth until the fish
 entered the net. (Once in the net, the hook straightened out and popped
out
 of the fish and back into the boat ---- Much to the surprise of both
 fisherman).
 <LI> 1 Still amazingly strong fish, that with three quick and wild
 shudders, ripped a 13" diameter hole in the old fishing net and then
started
 to slither his way over the short side of the holding trough at the end of
 the boat.
</UL>
<P>
<B> Now Add These Final Ingredients:</B>
<UL>
<LI> 1 Shocked and now totally useless fisherman, (Holding a net, with a
 hole you could push a beachball through)
       screaming (Like a girl) to the other fisherman, "OH #%$#!!!!, OUR
FISH  IS LOOSE, OUR FISH IS LOOSE"
<LI>1 Far more determined fisherman, responding to the less than macho
 cries of his fishing partner, by pouncing on the fish before it could
 complete its escape.
</UL>
<P>
<B> Final Outcome:</B>
<UL>
<LI>Two sweaty fat guys that during a 1 hour period of time became the
 greatest salmon fisherman of all time (Even if only in their own minds)
<LI>According the California Department of Fish and Game (Who
 boarded our boat about two hours after we landed that bad boy),  our King
 Salmon was the largest "Recorded" salmon caught in the Sacramento River so
 far this fishing season. (As of Saturday, 8/11/01)
</UL>

<P> Larry "King Fisher" Kovich  and  Roger "The Fishing Fool" Andersen